2017 Sports Roundup: The Daily Show
What’s up, everybody? I’m Roy.
That’s Michael, and this is the 2017
Year in Review for sports. And what a year
it was, Roy. The Astros won their first
World Series ever. We also had
two cocky idiots trying to beat the snot
out of each other. And the New England Patriots
had an amazing comeback over the Atlanta Falcons
in Super Bowl LI, ouch! Oh, the Falcons, RIP,
blew a 25-point lead, bro. They blew it so bad,
they had to write a book called “What Happened.” Well, but the most
important story, of course, is the NFL players
kneeling to protest the oppression
of the black man in America. My man, Roy, here knows
what that’s all about. No rest for the brothers,
am I right, Roy? Actually, man, I just kind of
want to keep this segment light and fun,
so let’s just keep moving. I hear you. Yeah.
I’m down, dawg. Because sports is supposed
to be light and fun, and the NFL got a little
more fun this year when the league
lifted the ban on group
touchdown celebrations. And the players
took full advantage. To date, they did
the Jamaican bobsled team. They did the…
They performed CPR. They even played leapfrog. I mean, where do they
come up with this? I mean, these celebrations
were cool… Yeah. …but they weren’t as good
as the ones that you and I used to throw down back
in our playing days. Oh, you mean the pepper
and the Parmesan? Let’s show them
pepper and Parmesan. Here we go, pepper.
-Here’s the salad. The Parmesan. Eat that salad. Pepper and Parmesan!
Crushed it. I’ll tell you
who else crushed it — the Golden State Warriors. They were absolutely dominant,
cruising to an easy NBA finals victory
over LeBron and the Cavs. Speaking of the Cavs,
Kyrie Irving demanded a trade so he wouldn’t have to
play with LeBron James, and that wasn’t even
the craziest thing he said this year. Man: One of the big stories
out of All-Star Weekend is the Cavs star Kyrie Irving believes that
the Earth is flat. Despite years of science, Kyrie honestly believes
that the Earth is not round. Kyrie, baby, how you gonna
say the Earth is flat when you basically
spend 20 hours a day dribbling a damn globe? A damn globe, of course! I’d be remiss if
I didn’t mention that there was
a racial slur that was spray-painted
on the home of LeBron James. Clearly money and fame are not enough
to protect the black man in today’s America, and that’s an America
with three K’s, right, Roy?
-Yeah, man. Why do you keep bring up
all this heavy race stuff? This supposed to be
a light segment. I just want my sports
with no racism. I’m sorry. You know me, but I’m an ally
to the black man. Stop saying
“the black man.” How you gonna say that? I minored
in African Studies. That ain’t got nothing
to do with it. Okay. All right. I’ll just
back off the African. Okay.
-Look. Anyway, let’s just move on because the most incredible
performance of this year… Yeah. …has to go to Serena Williams
winning the Australian Open while pregnant.
-Yeah. Try pulling that off,
Roger Federer. Well, he couldn’t
because technically… What more can you say? There’s nothing more inspiring
to me than a strong… -Yeah.
-…powerful black woman. Man, I told you,
you have to… I’m impressed
by black women. Michelle, Serena,
your own mom. Keep my mama’s name
out your mouth. It was a compliment. She raised
a great man, Roy. Just stop talking
about race. I know what’s going on. You don’t have to keep
bringing up race every time. It’s hard because 2017,
Roy, was a year that race and sport
intersected like never before. No. No.
There was one story. Michael Phelps
raced a shark, and that had nothing to do
with magical black women, nothing to do with wokeness
and nothing to do with race. Okay.
I just… Oh, God. How is race…
How is this race? Nothing, it’s, just,
I have always seen the shark as the black man
of the sea. You were saying…you’re
saying me and this shark… Look.
I’m just saying… You were saying… …everyone that was
involved in this made so much money
off of what? The shark’s hard labor. How much money
did the shark make? Nothing. I mean, to me,
that sounds a lot like… The shark is working.
Everyone is making money, but the shark is not
making any money. No. No. No.
No. No. Don’t say that. -To me that’s…
-Don’t ever say that. -Don’t even…
-That’s slavery. -I’m done.
-That’s what that is. Oh, man. Roy Wood, Jr.,
I’m Michael Kosta. To me, the shark is slavery. Happy Kwanzaa, you guys.
Have a great year.