Chicago’s Finest Golf Tournament (feat. Kel Mitchell) – South Side

♪♪ Whoo! [ Trills tongue ] Ow! Ladies and gentlemen, the
African Methodist Church
Spirit Dancers! One more time. Thank you for coming out
to this very festive day. Our first guest really
needs no introduction, but I will give him one anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, the Mayor! The Mayor? The Mayor? Da May-or. Ay! Ay! Oh! Caught me rhyme
and dancin’ well! Ha-how! Ow! Allen: Y’all know him
from Bud Billiken. Trust me, y’all know him.
He’s a hip-hop clown. Oh, this is a big one. Ladies and gentlemen, please
give it up for Kel Mitchell! Oh, shit. Kel Mitchell! Hey, thank you,
thank you very much. Thank y’all.
Thanks so much. You know, speaking
of philanthropy, I want y’all to all come out
to my walk-jump-run event. Tomorrow
at the South Side YMCA. Yeah, it’s gonna be
on the fifth floor. Room 206.
Okay? And please, please, please,
bring a government-issued ID. Thank you, Kel! Or — or you can bring a utility
bill with an updated address. It’s got to be current. Thank you, Kel. I said it’s got to be current. Kel Mitchell, everybody! Yeah!
Walk-jump-run! [ Applause ] All right, all right. Ohh. We were having such a good time, but unfortunately I have to be
the bearer of bad news. Um, it looks like, uh,
Mr. Adam Bethune, seen standing here, wasn’t able to secure us
the visit from the rapper Common, as he promised.
Is that correct? But we’ve scored
someone even better. You know her
from the movies. Give it up for my cousin,
LisaRaye McCoy! From “The Players Club”? Incredible. Hey, Turner, I see they got you
doing security, huh? Hell yeah. But I did not
know that she was about
to be so flossy. I need to go change.
Watch LisaRaye for me. -What?
-Be right back. Toot-too! Today is the reason
why I love the HOM so much. Because of the hard work,
charity, and pride. Adam:
And the free drinks. Actually, today we’re gonna
do a light cash bar. So don’t nobody better tip! The fuck? Also, due to a small
construction issue, you have to cross the street
to get to the 10th hole. Now let’s play some golf! Let’s go have some fun. And don’t take it easy
on the old boss today. Shall we? Got it! Quincy,
where are my meatballs? Meatballs are traveling,
Mr. Gayle. Be there in just a jiff. This is not a time
for failure, okay? I trusted in you.
I believe you. Get here.
Please. Ahh!
We ’bout to die! You know what my old golf coach
used to say to me? What? He said “niggers
can’t play golf.” Used to motivate the shit
out of me. Are you trying to
get in my head? I’m trying to help you.
That’s what he told me. God damn it! Fuck!
Racist game! Girl, I am so happy
I get to drive you around. I’ve been a fan of yours since
your episode of “In the House.” What’s it like working
with LL Cool J? Oh, girl,
he ain’t nothin’. What?! I’m just kidding. [ Both laugh ] You’re stupid. I counted in between scenes how
many times he licked his lips. It was like…
one… two… three… 42 times. So I’m at the Ebony
after party, right? Right. Angela Rye is there. From CNN? Allen: Quincy, just get here,
all right? Hey, dawg, this ain’t workin’.
You see this? Where’d you get
spaghetti from? Wait, this is not y’all? We’re almost there, guys.
Wake up. Come on. Let’s go.
Let’s go. Go, go, go! Yeah! So what’s it about? What?
“Square Up, Jesus”? Yeah. Yeah, it’s about
fighting your demons. I play a character named
Thirsty Daddy Jakes. Uh-oh! Here we go! Yeah, man!
Make them demons weak! I said wake up! Aah! Hey! [ Tires screech ] Shit! What was that? Oh, my God. Hey, st– stop, stop.
Stop. Meatball. Meatball. [ Groans, grunts ] Mm. Go. Mmm. Mmm. That’s incredible. What a horrible day.
Let’s get out of here. Can we go home please?
A terrible day. Did I do my part? His veins almost spilled
all over the floor. Guys…Guys…
Guys! Listen. Look, I… I know things look grim
right now, okay? But you know what
I’m thinking about? Yeah, we’re calling off
the whole thing, guys. No winners today. All right, come on. No, no, no, no. Where’s the park– Listen, Kel didn’t
come here today to play some stupid
golf tournament. Kel came here today
because he wanted to walk, jump, and run these children
into their futures. Now, I say we take
a short break, we get a drink
at the club house, and then we come back
and we finish this tournament the way it was intended. Incredible! [ Applause ] Okay. That brother’s good, he makes me
want to be a preacher.

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