CHRISTMAS CADDY LADS – Dan and Phil play: Golf With Friends #5


P: Hello, Dan and Phil games Christmas Caddies!
D: And welcome to the game that you’ve been waiting for… P: It’s Golf With Friends! D: Is this the last one? D: It is right? P: No D: We-We’ve been saying that P: I think there’s a couple ones that we haven’t done yet D: *croaky voice* I thought this was the last time I ever had to wear this hat D: I’m wearing my finest green jumper.
P: Why have I got the one without the pole?! D: Cuz your- that’s yours, I- I didn’t lose no pole.
P: It’s all waterlogged.
D: My pole is erect. P: It is so- stiff D: I’m gonna slap you with this ball if you come near me. This is a weapon of mass destruction.
P: Do you wanna fight? Do you wanna fight?
D: Yeah! D: they’re gonna get tangled up and then it’s gonna be very embarrassing…
P: And then we will never be able to play. D: So, here we are back by popular demand through crashes, rain, shine, and Dan’s will, we are doing more golf. P: It’s Christmas in Golf with Friends!
D: And look, they’ve Christmas-ed it up. P: Santa hat. How large is that Santa wandering around with a hat that large? D: You. *looks at Phil with heart eyes* P:*laughs* That’s me. I do have a big head. uh.. P: There’s a Christmas tree, what else is there? D: That’s it, [P: That’s it.] but that’s all they needed to do, to be honest, to get me in the mood… For GOLF.
P: Let’s make our balls super festive. P: I’m gonna go with red, and I think you should go with green.
D: I mean mine’s already green, but I’ll just make it like super green.
P: Okay. I’ll make it red and then together, we are your jumper, basically. D: Green and red.
P: Yeah. D: yes those are the Christmas colors D: oh my god the finally brought out hats P: Why do we have different ones??
D: That’s massive!
P: I got devil horns. This is like- (P)that’s Dan Ball. D: This is like a festive Christmas hat for someone with four heads.
P: I’ve got a cupcake.
D: Let’s go with that. D: I have no idea what that means, but sure. And a trail, I can leave an orange trail, Phil. P: Aw, I don’t have one to choose from. Hyped.
D: Zazzed. P: Are you allowed to wear a Santa hat on a golf course, or the all very trim and proper about that with their dress codes and their gentlemen’s clubs and their secret basements? D: That was a journey. P: I was wondering!
D: Ahh, you join a jolf club, a-and you do it.
P: I love a good JOLF club. D: Pleeaase release [P: *giggles*] me from this- Oh, I can’t put in ‘hell’, so it’s just ‘please release m’.
P: Dan, it’s gonna crash- D: Password is ‘this hat is hell’. P: Okay, [D: Alright.] Dan. It’s gonna crash, so you just have to just let it flow over you.
D: What, no it’s fine. P: Just know it’s gonna happen and you won’t get stressed about it. D: So, we are playing in Candyland.
P: Which is the most festive one we could find. D: Cos look, there’s like candy… corn.
P: There’s candy canes, [D: canessss] there’s Christmas lights. There’s also Satanic doughnuts. [P: It looks like a good vibe.] D: It’s got everything that’s important about the holiday season.
P: I’m scared the snowflakes are buzzing around like flies, I’m not sure I want snow to work like that.
D: Did they just replace like flies with snow? D: I don’t know. [P: I think that’s what they might’ve done.] Physics in this dimension is very terrifying
P: So, what’s it called, ‘please release me from this hell’? D: Yes. Correct! P: We’re connecting now.
D: There are two festive feans ready for some great golf fun.
P: Festive laddies ready for action.
D: Spare me. Bloody hell, that’s like a punch to the face. D:OH, Woow.
P: It’s very neon.
D: JEsus. P: Just focus on the candy canes.
D: Look at our combined hat power. D: ‘Cupcake Jester’ that is a good niche. Ok.
P: That is good. D: Who gets to go first? [P: The lord looks…] I’m gonna pick you get to go first [P: I get to go first.] In the spirit of Christmas P: What is going on in that lake, some radioactive waste just seeping in there.
D: What is this, the Brazil Olympics pool? P: I think this is a jump, so I’m just gonna go for it
D: Do it, Phil. Phil, forgot whoever goes first doesn’t have an advantage
P: Oh no! P: I’m drowning in the nuclear waste!
D: But if you had a floaty skin, you would’ve looked so great there. P: That would’ve been good
D: So, you went, like, quite powerful. I’m gonna go even mORE powerful D&P: OHHHhHHHhh no no
P: It’s like a full-on launchpad
D: Awful. D: Look at my trail. I’m so obnoxious.
P: Alright.
D: I’m about it. P: Watch this and learn. This is how Santa launches off your roof. P: WOOPPAH- oh oH OHHHH
D: oohooohohhh D: Okay
P: That was close! D: So was that full whack-
P: That was full-
D: -that you did there? P: I’m not gonna help you! It might have been full whack, it might have been full stack, it might have been a full snack. D: BOooooM Shake shake shake the fUck- right
P: right- (laughter) P: Watch this and learn from my supreme golf skill. P: Bup!
D: Absolutely- okay. P: yASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
D: That was a complete accident, but you did it, and I support you
P: That was beaUtiful. D: The hat makes no sense from a physics perspective D: But I’m not gonna let that shame us or stop us or anything, okay? P: NIce
D: Oh, wait, wait… P: Get away from me!
D: OOOOOoooOOOHhhHHH D: We didn’t put collision on; the ultimate troll will be avoided today
P: Good, I think it makes it crash P: Double bogey! *fireworks sound*
D: It probably does, toot, alright D: Four-Four
P: Four-druple bogey! D: Hope you’re ready for this, it’s gonna get competitive P: See-
D: Woooow! I feel like I’m on acid right now P: I would not be allowed on this golf course because I would eat the whole thing P: I’d just be like *vacuum noise*
D: You’d be licking the floor, and that is not [in a weird accent] sanitary P: [in the same weird accent] Not sanitary!
D: Good trees though D: Alright, UP THE WALLLLLLL D: Yes, yes, yes! (disappointed) ohhhhhhhh P: That was kind of delicious P: I think I’m gonna emulate that, but better D: Right, go on, do you just go full whack? Oh my God, this is just luck, that was not intended, don’t go through…! D: Yes, yes, well. I don’t know actually and that could have been a lot better for you. Oh God. Oh fudge P: Don’t speak so soon, Daniel. Because I’m about to get- P: –a three in one. [laughs] P: I was so sure it was gonna happen. D: [claps sarcastically] All right guys. D: Wow, that was weird, okay.
P: Okay here we go.
D: How you doing, rollin’ up to say hi. P: Philly’s ready to get his hole…wait wait wait
D: Damn it!
P: Yas! D: No, no no no no–yes, yes yes, ha ha ha!
P: Sail in! Ohh-That cupcake let me down.
D: Rekt-icuno D: Okay. I’m just gonna. Look–look at this, look at this. This is gonna be amazing. It’s gonna be underwhelming, it’s gonna be a disaster.
P: It’s very underwhelming.
D: Okay, sure. P: Suh-weet. Double bogey again. D: Are you ready for this? Mmm, mmm. D: WHER–
P: Come on, miss miss miss miss miss!
D: Shit, right. D: It’s fine. I’m letting you get(P: Two lead! Two lead!) ahead because you always lose so dramatically.
P: What is going on here?? D: Well, it’s your turn to go first, so.
P: I need to get through the hole.
D: Phil, the hole is the goal.
P: Right, I’m gonna go for it. No! D: Good–fucking hell that was like a skate ramp.
P: I don’t know what just happened, but I’m very happy D: Oh, I’m gonna go for this side, but that’s terrifying because I don’t know when it’s gonna come. D: But I’m gonna do it.
P: Really?
D: Yeah.
P: I think that’s dangerous
D: Nah. D: Ohhh! I did it, the mad lad.
P: Tension! Oh, you’ve joined me down here.
D: Oh, hello, okay.
P: [American accent] Look it’s some candy corn plants. D: Wow, it’s all going on. P: We don’t have candy corn in Britain.
D: What’s it taste like?
P: It tastes kind of like [D: I’m scared] plastic mixed with cardboard mixed with a bit of Halloween.
D: Nice. P: Right, I’m gonna estimate…
D: Yeah?
P: That the hole’s over here.
D: Phil is an expert hole finder. (…) P: Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Please, please!
D: You absolute bastard.
P: [bird noises] D: Yeah, yeah, we’ll see.
P: Take my bird to the face.
D: Shit shit, okay. D: This is not going to plan people. You ready for this?
P: Yeah. [in a weird accent] are you ready for it? D: SHIII-UUU-AAA [yelling] Oh god. Yes. D: Double bogey [P: double bog] still valid.
P Why have I got [D: This is getting away from me.] I’ve got such an itchy nose? I think I’m allergic to the hat. D: Oh, that would be a shame. What a shame if we have to throw the hats away and never do this again. D: I ammm… Really like my eyes hurt after looking at this, but it’s wonderful. I would be out of control P: I’m gonna go down the slide of doom, here we go.
D: That’s like a rainbow lace, isn’t it? P: What what what
D: Oh dear, too eager. Rainbow laces are like among my favorite chocolate D: I mean not chocolate, but just like candy I’d say. P: They do burn your tongue. D: Ahh, yes, oh yes, come on, do it do it do it. P: This is so satisfying. D: Are you fucking kidding me? D: Are you pulling my leg. P: I’ve learned from your mistake. Here we go. Swoosh down the slide. D: This is just luck. D: There is absolutely no. P: Yes, come on come on come on. D: What is this bull shirt? P: Come on, come on. Yes, yes, eeee! D: That was awful. P: That was so pleasing. That’d be on the oddly satisfying reddit. D: I’m going for the slowest, carefulest of journeys. D: Yes, yes, planned. D: Intentional. Fully calculated. P: Beautiful. P: Did you used to go down waterslides and kick old people in the back by accident? P: Cause we always used to do that. D: WHAT – P: You go down at full whack, P: and then the person with the whistle would do it too quick, and then I’d be like ‘Oh, time to go.’ D: Well, if you killed an old person, D: that is the responsibility of the person at the swimming pool (P: Yeah) for sending you down the slide too fast. P: Exactly! I was a kid. I didn’t know there was an old lady there! P: I couldn’t slow down, there was nothing to hold onto, it was just like, P: ‘Janice! NOOOOOO’ D: Do I need to call a lawyer? P: No, it’s fine. (D: Okay…) She a – we had a good laugh. D: This video is satire! Ha ha ha… heh… hhhhnnnn… (P: We had a good laugh.) P: Right, Dan, are you ready to witness the fitness? P: Come on. Scoop it in. Yeah. P: Edge it in. Aw, alright. D: That was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been listening to a sentence uttered by a human. D: Ok – don’t you fucking dare.
P: At least I don’t work in an ice cream store.
D: GODDAMN IT P: ~Ohh~ A candy butterfly! Alright, here we go. D: OMM D: It’s a Pringle. It’s just two Pringles P: It did look like the Pringles
D: Tied together with a skittle (?) D: ALRIGHT, I am NOT closing this gap-pling-ging.
P: I just want to dance P: I’m so happy about this.
D: For now. We’ll see… D: Hole five and I’m alive. Wow, look at that gummy bear D: That’s really, kind of scary.
P: That’s very intense.
D: I’m going for it, full whack! P: Ohhhhhhh! Oh, nice. That was actually pretty good.
D: Ah, yes, straight into the knob. P: Do you recon’ it’s better to go through the hole over there?
D: Yes D: Yes
P: I kind of want to attempt it P: But I think that would be really –
D: No, no, you should, it’s obviously intended it because I would have been – P: Awwwwwwww
D: No, you fricking plant D: What were you thinking? P: WAIT –
D: No, no, my go D: By Toyota sponsors of (?).
P: Right, I just – I think I could have ruined it
D: Go through the window on the left
P: NO, shut up! P: Lads on tour, that wasn’t too bad P: Okay –
D: Oh, as if you get the freaking straight line shot. That is rubbish
P: Bogel! D: Comin’ for ya. I’m approaching from the rear. stop. D: Well. P: That is one of the Sour Patch Kids. D: That’s a gingerbread man, but they made it… yellow. D: He’s wearing shorts. P: Yeah D: Good for you. P: At least he’s got clothes on. D: Donuts are intimidating me. D: I mean, what is that like in the water right there? P: Each year me and my brother are allowed to decorate the family Christmas cake P: and once, we made a nudist beach Christmas scene, which my grandma did not – *gasp* P: I was just – I was like, getting into my anecdote, I didn’t realize what was happening then! D: NO! D: nO P: *laughing* You were so close. P: You were so – P: Anyway, Grandma saw it, and we were never allowed to decorate the cake again. D: FIRSTLY P: We used some liquorice allsorts for some specific… areas. D: Secondly – D: Yeah, I was about to say, okay. D: I actually don’t want to know more about that. D: What you should do is go full whack into that green cupcake icing. P: No. D: Yes! P: I was not really watching what you did, which is… a hardship. D: Don’t go too hard. P: I’m gonna do that – ooh! P: No, that was terrible. D: It’s actually good. You’re gonna do fine. P: Shut your mouth D: I’m being nice! D: Right – yeah, yeah and then you do that. right yeah, yeah Oh dear. Oh look at that cupcake flu. He’s humping the other cupcake control your ball Phil. P: Shush. P: Yes! D: Oh Deary deary me. P: NO! Well, that’s fine water is a lovely place to be I’m gonna go slow I Think it’s about to cut you off Phil I mean I feel a real serious golfer, which is what we are now this would be the end. Oh, okay? You’re still going okay? Oh, out of time as well Oh No oh, what a shame that’s such a Real issue truly come on keep rolling keep rolling all and all in more Terrifying Satan get in my hole. That’s what he’s saying. I’m saying you going anywhere near that hole right here. We go what? This looks like a fun place you lose a lot of momentum would it let’s think about that or let’s not I’m gonna continue going quite violently over here. Yes, oh no a Little bit captain time limit, Oh Phil Oh what’s this was this on? No. It doesn’t look like that’s happening, right? Who am I gonna do it. Oh, I’m gonna go straight through the hole, and then look up so easy look Oh, don’t you fucking dare my gosh? That was a table flap? You know what they say in the industry when something’s absolute Bob. I ain’t going again. I’m going again Yes, you don’t believe this like I’m on the rim yes Look That’s not gonna help the ball. I swear to fucking god. Oh my god. I’m gonna I’m gonna end it all right now lose some momentum you swine sweet. Oh yeah there. We go. I’m going that way I’ll be able to help Come on Wow I’m still behind got ourselves out even after the last one all right you go bloody hell, I know yeah I mean first time have the right protection here we go Yes, Oh mrs. Chin okay fine for you daddy, yes, okay there we go oh No right, this is the one sure Yeah, that was it’s not the one that was not the one so the one Yes, yes Yeah, I’m gonna tell a plane that is running on pure service Sully oh Oh dear there. We go up. The hill as well as straight over Which is I wanted to do to get film over top just some kind of barrier on its wall wait what oh dear? Well the thing is you’re not going through the get the other time. Are you though? Yes, okay? I need to stop just doing the same thing again. That’s not out for me like this is it oh? Gosh, okay. I really need to just calm the hell down. I’m really not in a rush. It would seem shut up come on like full-forward No, oh my god. This is unfair – really unfair honestly I feel like you should write to the people that make the game and be like hey, I’ve discovered a bug This is just not fair. I can’t get through the doughnut, and it’s unfair right I’m on stroke seven and it’s just not fair you want an actual tip well. Just fuck the dough not go left Well that way yeah, but like just in front of the bar that yeah I’m just gonna leave it. I mean I keep going oh Oh, you’ve had a couple stinky. Oh my god. I’m living right oh I go left you go right. That’s just the way that we do it. Okay Why was my school so much worse than what happened with it completely flopped, but that was what happens when we stroke limit normally? Just that much who do you want fire me? Okay? I’m going this way wha? Yes, buddy. Hello, okay, okay? Hole whoa, whoa you went on a rollercoaster ride there. Did I go – oh? No, I wasn’t fast enough. Okay a bit faster. I need to go faster. You need to move Faster I think I prefer your side than my side Well you have to do your side because we’ve committed to fuck and I can say yes, I could all fall Yes, oh yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. You’re doing it. You’re doing it, and why am I rooting for you there. I got my turn Shit my god. Why did I say I was going laughs here we go This is such a long level where even is the hole. It’s fine. I got this yes No shit anything bounce off here the sweet rebound do it scoop. Oh my god You found the hole yeah, what the shit? I think I’ve got enough momentum to get into it as well come on Okay, come put oh my god. It’s donut – that isn’t it You’re actually we have to make some of those points back now. Yeah, okay, okay? Oh, he’s on the runs on a run page. Wait a minute Do I have to go all the you have to go through there and around that or? I can do this what the hell that is not the way to go. It would have been it would have Any but look look look look look other side you have to do this. Hope you why did you do this here? We go again? We dif now here we go. Oh that was quite satisfying, but until you fucked it up bla What’s your favorite sweet down button? Oh man? That’s a very broad question. I love a good pair drop like a rainbow lace What a fizzy one yeah, they remove your entire mouth exactly you have three is like a paint stripper tongue is a bleeding stump. Oh What was that ha you even fought yes Tiger howl, oh wait wait, or is it tiger Lester yeah prepare to growl at me? Bogey, I even never been more glad that you’re on a sports commentator Okay, right, hole 11. Am I in heaven looks the same as hole 10 is I’m gonna say that much as a theme Okay show some respect Alpha foxy right you just did the same different. I was more gentle look sailing it away I’m gonna do that and I’m ready to get it nothing wait for it. It’s gonna Be ready finesse snuggle down in the hole read a book koala wait for you. Oh hello Yoghurt whom’s is waiting for whom’s or oh? Hello that we par friends bogey Do you leave Santa mince pie and something for the reindeer or just a mince pie in your household Um well we did that for like two years Oh my god betrayed by convey about what is this so I’m gonna give you good presents. If you don’t leave him any food Yeah, sure oh, no. Uh, straight into the lolly, rookie error if you ask me right I have a shot of going straight over Phil what I’m just you know being dramatic Phil Get over it *Dan makes sound effect* Oh, oh, oh. [Inaudible speaking] Dan: OMG, NO! P: How’d that happen? Excellent oh, yeah, just delete yourself what the Frick, okay? We’re back here. That’s fine. That’s fine. That’s fine Which way is the way to go or this way? Yes? Yes, yes no no no shit, okay? It’s about being you need you need no. I need more than that oh Shoot no Okay, oh my god the direction is okay right Yes No, oh oh gosh Phil. Taste it yes. Yes, yes, yes, are you fucking kidding me? The game continues, this is not over yet It’s still a three different right fill up the chocolate path you go all chocolate and sprinkles and not the best combo right uh sprinkles Oh Holy crapola, are you joking yeah? What’s this birdie second one of the game? Fuck. come meet me at the top. I already started a family in that hole. That was too much, that was too much. No we can’t {what} Absolutely didn’t think about that I did do you rather see how that staying? I know everyone needs to judge you for your sins But I’m not saying it is I’m already relaxing in the you’re gonna come join me there We go Bill’s in the lead by one could’ve use a different finger. I was gonna say right you first Keepin track, oh hello, can I likely go up there? No you’re gonna break the internet This is the only choice one can make oh that was very back down again. I just wanted to say hi I missed you to be on this I found God. I’m scared more implications of this are far too heavy there. We go. That’s Oh How overwhelming very underwhelming is like everything related to Phil right? Oh, yes. I’m coming for three slides This is like a waterfall. Okay, so that one that takes you back to this No it’s back to the start It has to be this. It’s my turn now. I’m just holding my my go ready to ready to go yes Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh my god. That was too hard. Oh dear. Oh my god. Oh, No Bogey well done see I’m very supportive now right oh My I don’t know which slide you did I did the middle one. I think it was this one no Oops what what’s happening? Yes? Yes, yes, okay? Yes, okay? Why don’t know I’m already on strike for you Talk to me about your choice wait wait wait Phil wait Phil. We’re not in a rush now find out I’ll talk to you look. I just want 21 seconds of your time. No you could 21 seconds to go. I’m gonna get in here There we go make a family and that holes okay plenty of time to spare more holes two dudes Right, let’s do I say we’re up for the challenge. Okay, like I gotta left you go right three two one go It’s a race. You just went fuckin left you spore Yeah, I might not know my left’s and rides very well. I did end up in a good place well No, I don’t want to go right. Oh I Forgot sake look at me. I’m just what are you doing? I wanted to go I did that for the people for the people you can see the different. Yes, so they can appreciate that content. Okay, ooh You’re on the right at the edge of that chocolate Pop dance so satisfying if it just went come on Okay, this is this is finish I Don’t want to you don’t a jinx jinx it, but I want to say now say no this. We’ve got me out at crushing Who they got three lots of jinx right there Phil then left win it and while the water, okay? Moti tile oh my god wait. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god You’re like bobbing in a big way. This is very confused no I think that’s what the cliques doing what the fuck was that about okay? no, we’re I’m just going this way I Mean sure do we just go to the end of here now yeah, I guess on to the land, that’s that’s gonna crash it No, will it. Oh my god. Maybe we have to all you have to land on that thing This is ridiculous, no it’s that there’s the hole yeah, I know right okay, I’m in Poop popp is there any strategy to your clicking right now? Oh? I’m like a fish out of water You’re like my name’s soggy cupcake, and that is not something anyone wants. You ready for this. Yeah, are you ready for it? What makes you freaking tell I’m going to landed. Okay? I’m gonna go here and Then I’m just gonna hop over this. I’m gonna do it legit Oh Little fail watch this ye oh no oh No no my turn oh That was fine oh Yeah, Oh Valid strategy I had to say I can’t knock that a little bit over here and then into though That’s gonna crash in the last hole. No. It’s not it’s not it’s not o2 difference now It’s okay. It’s this is truly. It should be the last video of the year I know this should be the line matter we ever made. I’ll go left you’ll go right so you Tell me what to do in my own house. What is left and right is forward and right? well I’m just gonna try and stop next to there like that Almost perfectly calculator is not really right now. It’s time for me. Oh Okay nice three oh I’m just gonna go like a bit up the hill yes. Yes onto the belt. Yes. I mean I victory out Oh, my god. Funnels and everything what is that about? Oh? No? What is it this about? I don’t know? There’s the freaking thing I can see the hole Oh into the funnel oh my god wait 20 planes Yes come on no no oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, and let me have my go Shit way too powerful. Let’s do it gently Come on come on. Take me to what? The final hole and We are even okay. I’m gonna go first TfL come on this has to be max speed This is some like end of the world sharing right now. Is this made of chocolate or what is this journey? Oh my god. What is this? This is incredible? Can this be like a next part? I want to go to this place right now right now? Immediately okay me – here we go woof Oompa Loompa Who am I gonna go down the same slide as you let’s see no I’m not different route Little better not be the one directly into the hole that we so unfair no no here. We are I think seems like we’ve both missed the top one go Phil. I’m going I’m gonna hit it off this raspberry cube Wing good use of geometry there. We go look at this. Oh my oh my god, okay Well, let’s not run out of time. Okay. I’m gonna zoom. There’s the flag watch me go First time speed speed, please leave. Oh my god. Okay. That was so intense you got punted here. We go three two one Jesus You literally like Jesus part in the sea right here we go come on don’t fail me balls. Oh oh Okay fellas oh no oh my gosh. Oh my god get this accurately No no no no no I love gold Love this game. I love this hat. Oh No Phil Phil what’s wrong like well done? I’m not a sore loser. Yeah Congratulations on your pinky pinky shake, but like refined gold flies How they do it in the county where you’ve got a lot of things have been said in the last when I know I know I’m physically uncomfortable even though I’m spiritually uncomfortable that was in the name of the room Please release them. That was weirdly festive. It was like Santa’s grotto sweet land where they make all the sweets That is a vision of what I will see on Christmas Day is evening by the time I’ve finished all the confectionery being served in front of me mmm My family will be there, but all I’ll see is like pink gelatinous cubes So give us a thumbs up if you want pink gelatinous cubes in July yeah If you want more goal from let us know you can subscribe below our channels down there. What else can we say This hat is hat Bye

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