Every Sports Debate Show Ever


(dramatic music) – [Announcer] It’s Reaction Time. Presented by Sports Drink. Here’s your host, White Anchor. – Welcome to Reaction Time,
where we React Accordingly five days a week, two shows a day. So let’s meet today’s panel. From East Coast Radio
Show, Another White Guy. – Let’s do this. – [White] From Midwest
Newspaper, Minority Commentator. – It’s a pleasure. – [White] From University
Not Competitive At Athletics, Math Based Analysis Guy. – 100% ready. – [White] And from Magazine, it’s Minority Female Correspondent. – Really surprised to be here. – [White] Now let’s get
your initial reactions. – Definitely. – I think you know where I stand on this. – I’m with those guys. – They’re all wrong. – Let’s start this drive. – [Announcer] Opening Drive. – A lot of good things are happening with the current winning team. But are they as good as what happened then with the past winning team? So what’s better? Now, or then? – (Laughs) Come on, man. Then. Back then, it was pure. I mean, what do you call this? It’s not like it is now. I mean, that’s why we
haven’t had a dynasty since the Big City Animals, man. – Since the Big City Animals? The Regional Colloquialisms
were a dynasty, the Southern State Native
American References were a dynasty, the Northern Weather Systems dynasty. – Ooh, three tallies. It’s time to Blow the Call. – [Announcer] Blow the Call. – Alright, we have Ex-Athlete on the line. Ex-Athlete, you played
then, and even before then. But how does it compare to now? – [Ex-Athlete] Speaking objectively, it was better when I played. Man, there were so many
things then that aren’t now. We didn’t do it that
way. How come they do? – But the algorithm I
use to measure success tells a different story. – [Ex-Athlete] The new
rules are notably different. – Agree to disagree. Now, it’s time to pad up because we’re moving on to the Change Up. – [Announcer] The Change Up. – Let’s talk about second-tier sports. Straight from Not America,
it’s Foreign Accent Guy. Foreign, how things shaping up over there? – The British Britishers
are comin’ on strong, but the Whatever Whatsits
are makin’ another run, indeed thanks in large
part to Handsome Guy, who’s got quite an ability. – No tallies. Time for a Jump Ball. – [Announcer] Jump Ball. – Everybody, argue. – It’s an off the field issue. – Kids are watching these guys
– That’s all it is. – It’s here to stay,
– This record will never be broken
– and it is a welcome change to something that’s almost progressive. – It has no place in the game. No place. – It’s very popular where I come from. – If you look at the
percentages over time– – Need more athletes like– – About being a team player–
– I’ve read Moneyball. – Alright, that’s enough. – That’s all I’m saying. – Ten tallies each,
final tallies are there. Now, upon further
reaction, what say you now? – You know it. – I’ve been saying it for years. – I believe in my guys. – 0% chance. – And now it’s time for
this week’s Solo Shot. – [Announcer] Solo Shot. – Look. I don’t know if
he did, or he didn’t. And we can all agree he shouldn’t. But what does this mean when we hold our athletes
to this standard? And what do we do? Now, I don’t know if
there’s anything else to say about Star Player and his
real or manufactured scandal. And this is just one man’s reaction. But something has to change. Something that I can’t control. Something that I can only talk about. This is up to the courts, the spouses, and the league officials to decide. But I urge you to never forget to React Accordingly. We’ll see you guys tomorrow. – [Announcer] This was Reaction Time. Tune in for our next
episode in 35 seconds. – Talk to Producer Offstage,
good job, there it is. (dramatic synth riff)

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