Golf Equipment and Clothing
– You know what else pissed me off today? – What? – Tried using my cell phone. – Having trouble? – Just like the stinking commercials. Can you hear me now? How bout now? Now? Now? Now? Now? (Audience laughs) – You know when you don’t hear in those commercials? – What? – The other end of the conversation. (Audience […]
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WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT IS FRIDAY, IT IS FRIDAY, NOTHING LIKE FRIDAY. AND WITH THE HOLIDAYS AROUND THE CORNER, IT’S BEEN A BUSY WEEK FOR THE UN-JOLLY MAN IN THE BIG RED HAT. I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT’S […]
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[Cricket commentary] Don’t bite my fingers, dude! Hey, what’s he doing! Yeah, wicket! That’s awesome! Stop! Didn’t you bowl a leg spin? Continue the same. They are getting out only when you bowl leg spin. Don’t you think you are pushing it? Did a wicket fall when you bowled off spin. But it fell now. The batsman is getting confused […]
Read moreIt’s tournament time, alright. And what is the one thing you need when you enter a tournament like this? “Heart.” No, that’s only in movies. This is real life. “Foot powder.” What? Not even close. No! The one thing you need, swag. What is that? You know what, I’m pretty sure swag was invented by Ancient Greece. “I don’t think […]
Read moreThis month, athletes from around the world are descending upon Sochi to represent their country. You’re not participating. You are going to be watching on TV because that’s what you’re best at. But it’s important that you maximize this experience for peak enjoyment. First, make your environment more Russian. Put on traditional Ushanka. Have a babushka lady cook you a […]
Read moreYESTERDAY THE TINIEST NATION IN THE TOURNAMENT, ICELAND, SCORED — (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) REALLY? ARE THERE PEOPLE FROM ICELAND HERE? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BORK IS HERE TONIGHT. ICELAND SCORED A DEEP OVERTIME, TIE-BREAKING GOAL TO BEAT AUSTRIA. AND IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S A BIG DEAL, THEN YOU’RE NOT THE ICELANDIC COMMENTATOR WHO WAS CALLING THE GAME. (HYSTERICAL) (CHEERS AND […]
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{Follow On Instagram @ccourion} free supreme xd Awesome This dude told us to come where? Oh my gosh. Where are we? He said to come to locker room number 1. USA, what? (usa only jake ;)) hey What? *Giggles* what can we do today oh!! its national condom day! (lol) No way? Yeah. Sooo…..I thought I’d get a thousand condoms […]
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The other day, little kid in store causing problem, crushing chip! At my restaurant, they come in like it is their own living room. Wearing capes… Spiderman pyjamas. Tripping waiters… Throwing chapatis like they are frisbees! And the parents do nothing! When I was a child, I could not even speak in public. Yeah, if I even look at my […]
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I did it! I hit the hundred thousand subscriber milestone on Youtube, and I promised you all a special… um… treat? for helping me do that. So let’s review Dingo’s giant crossover mess, Fussballspiel der Tiere! Or… *flat voice* Animal Soccer World *audio clip from the video of singing in German, sounds like a song for an annoying children’s show* […]
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