The Rules of Flickerball – THE WORST SPORT EVER INVENTED!
Ninh explains, the Rules of Flickerball.
The object of the game is to score more points than the opposing team.
The game is played on a field that’s …. Erm … it can be any size field?
That can be of any size, and is played between two teams of … and there can be any number
of players? A minimum of two players per team. The ball
used in Flickerball can be an American Football, a soccer ball, a rugby ball, a dodgeball … basically
any ball will do. The game starts with a jump ball. The team
that receives the ball must only pass backwards or laterally initially. There are two ways
to move the ball towards the goal. You may move only three steps forward with
the ball, or be in possession of the ball whilst moving backwards or sideways for a
maximum of 5 seconds. After 5 seconds, you must either pass to a teammate or shoot the
ball towards the goal. To score points you must throw the ball into
the goal. These goals are situated at opposite ends of the field, and are 6ft above the ground.
They’re basically a piece of plywood with a hole cut out of the middle. I shit you not.
If you cannot afford a piece of plywood, using a stolen tire from your nearest ghetto is
acceptable. If you successfully shoot the ball into the
hole, this is a goal and is worth 2 points. And, if you miss the hole, but hit the plywood
surround – this is worth 1 point. The game is played in either one 40 minute
period, or two 20 minute halves. Highest score at the end of time, wins.
That’s not so bad? Well, sadly the rules get more complicated.
Any attempt at shooting at the goal results in the ball being awarded to the other team.
Whilst you are allowed to pass the ball to a teammate, if a pass is incomplete and not
caught, the ball is awarded to the other team. If a pass is deflected by a member of the
opposing team, it’s a free ball and anyone can take possession of it.
You cannot pass or shoot the ball in the free throw lane, which is apparently this area
here. If the ball leaves the area of play, the ball
is awarded to the team who did not touch it last.
Flickerball is designed to complicated. Flickerball is designed so that rules are
more important than the actual game itself. Flickerball is designed to be no fun whatsoever.
Flickerball is designed to suck. Designed. To Suck.
So why on earth would you play this game? The US Air force uses flickerball as a military
training exercise. They use it to evaluate cadets in stressful, confusing and high pressure
situations. All of which are present in this game due to its complicated rules, odd structure
of play, and the lack of consistency in both the rules and the format. Every move you make
on the field, is being evaluated by your superiors and should you suck at the sport that sucks,
this will reflect badly in your evaluations. No pressure then.
There’s just a few other things you’ll need to know before playing or watching Flickerball.
For example. Fouls.
Flickerball is a no contact sport, and these are considered as fouls.
Should you break one of the rules, a free throw is awarded to the other team at the
spot of the foul. Even swearing and protesting calls are considered
as fouls. Fuck. Heckling.
Members of the team who aren’t on the field (and any spectators watching) are allowed
to hurl abuse towards the players. This results in harsh American insults such as …
The players are not allowed to retaliate, doing so will result in a foul and the ball
is awarded to the other team. Variations.
Flickerball is not consistently played by the same rules across America. Each region
of the United States has its own variation of the rules. Some play with a three point
line, some play where they can only pass backwards or sideways and
…. Okay this is crazy. I’m not doing anymore. I should have renamed this video. Ninh can’t
explain: the Rules of Flickerball. Actually, yes I can – I just did. Ninh won’t explain
the Rules of Flickerball … because this sport is just shit stupid.
If you do like this kind of video where I’m ripping the crap out of stuff, let me know
in the comments section below. Special shout out to my guy Spencer Kassimir
for introducing me to this hilariously awful sport. Follow the guy on Twitter and if you
have actually enjoyed this video – please be sure to like share and subscribe. It really
does take me ages to make one of these things and good karma is very much appreciated.
Follow me on Twitter also and share this video on Reddit, but in the meantime …. Enjoy
Flickerball? Ninh Ly – www.ninh.co.uk – @NinhLyUK