THE SCARIEST SPORT – Dan and Phil play: Golf With Friends #4


(P) Hello Dan and Phil Games!
(D) Hi! (P) Haun- I was about to say: “Haunted Holes” But I’m gonna change that haha (P) To “Zombie Caddy Lads!” (P) And welcome to what is gonna be: (D) The scariest video this week
(P) The Scariest Game (D) Are you kidding me? You want horror? You want? (P) Not this week
(Both) Ever, Ever! (D) On this channel! *laugh* (D) Look. this wasn’t our bad idea… a shocking amount of you actually asked us to do this okay? (P) Lots of requests!!! (D) Oh it’s spooky week they’re only gonna play a few horror games (D) What do we want? We want them to do: Spooky golf! (P) Yeah! (D) So here we are today. We are gonna be playing: Golf With Friends!! (P) Spooky golf. So first on we need to don our hats. Where’s my flag gone? (D) What do you mean? (P) I – I – I had a flag on this and now there is no flag! (D) You need to respect your property Phil. It’s just gone (P) *Sad Moan* (D) Do we have to do this? Just like as a good *grumbles*? (P) Yes! Get it on (D) Uuuuh… It’s gonna moult into my head. (D) Bleugh (P) At least you have got your flag still, erect and proud! (D) You can see the crumbs (P) Look! I’ve got some, uh, cobwebs. To make them haunted! (D) Oh great! Yeah, that’s exactly what I want you to do right now (P) Look at this! You can have, like, spiders crawling all over you, Witches (D) *Mumbling* Yes. Uh huh. Oh good. (D) I love that. (P)…. getting excited (P) Mine just looks like a bird’s pooed on it. That’s not scary at all! *adorable laugh* (D) Okay, uh, there was an attempt (P) And! To add an extra spooks, I though we could turn this into a bit of a challenge as well? (D) Yeah, Okay (P) This is going to be the Golf Jumpscare Challenge! So we’ve each got 3 jumpscares each, where we’ve gotta try and scare each other during the making of this video, and then the winner is the person who gets scared the least. (P) And you can play along at home. If you’re watching this with a friend, you can watch this video and scare each other 3 times each. (D) What is wrong with this guy? Okay sure. (P) I just wanted to add some spooks! (D) Add, yes. Add to the lack of friendships. (P) Alright! So, that begins when we start the golf round! (P) Anytime the snek could arrive. (D) Okay sure. You’ve invited yourself to this. (D) Are we ready Phil? (P) Dim the lights! (D) Let’s dim the lights. (D) Why are we slowly zooming in on some sort of triceratops in the background that was always out there? (P) I don’t know. I’ve never noticed that before. (D) It’s spooky! (P) Ayy. There’s a brain- (D) Oh! There’s a brain and shit, wow. Look at this! Human baby heads in jars! (P) WoW! (D) This is looking up to every dream we could ever had! What are we gonna call the name? (P) Um, Banterween? *Chuckle* (D) That physically hurt me to type that! (P) That was painful! (D) You’re disgusting! (D) The password is…. NoPhilNo There we go! (P) NooPhil (Both) NOO (D) I’ve created it. So, levels. Forest, Oasis, Twilight; which we did. (Both) Haunted! (D) Which was already there, so I guess we’re doing haunted! (P) Yeah! (D) There we go! Or to me Candyland which is the true terror, because of all the bright colours.(P) I mean, look at that donut. Just go back. *Dramatic music* (P) That is the thing of nightmares! (D) That is actually pretty terrifying! Okay.. (P) DoN’t EaT mE! (P) Customise your ball! {I know Dan says something here but I can’t make out what he says.} (P) I want the orange one, cause it’s halloween. (D) Uh, Um.. I’m gonna definitely go for a spooky green! (P) How do we make Orange? {Phil, really?} (D) How do we make Orange? and other questions from Phil. (P) This is kind of orange, it’s a bit of a peach… (D) Ahhhh, yes! Look at that! (P) There we go. (D) That is bright! (D) Look at us two! We are ready to go! And what’s the password? (P) NoooPhilNooo! (D) Please save me.. I hate everything. (D) Okay! (P) I’m ready! (D) Ah, look at us guy- Are you ready for this? (P) Let’s do it! Bah! *Jumpscares Dan* (D) Ahahaha! (P) Oh Wha-?! (D) Predictable! (P) Did you think I was gonna do it? (D) I knew you’d do that! (Both) Ohhh! (D) Okay. (P) This is intense! (D) Immediately, let’s look around.. (Both) Hole 1… (D) is floating. We’re in a spooky house, there’s axes, there are floating chairs. (P) I’m a bit worried. (D) I’m shook (P) Ok, go first. (D) Uhhh, I – I – I’m just gonna go for this power. There we go. (D) Miss! Miss, miss? *Chuckle*What is a miss here? (P) That’s not a very scary, uh, pole though is it? It could be like a skeleton hand. (D) No, but I am looking at the weird floating baby, mannequin, haunted, statue axe things that are coming up. (P) Are you ready for the hole in one? (D) Yep. (P) Zamp! (D) BAHHH! *Jumpscares Phil* Ohhh! There we go! (P) That was so loud! (D) Oh my… (D) Oh dear… Okay. (P) Ohh. My eardrum is no longer with us. (D) Wow (D) … Phil went, there we go and then I went a bit too far but I *Voice Break* reckon I will get it next time. (P) Maybe.. (P) Maybe it’s gonna power me to.. do better with this extra adrenaline now. Watch this. Nah (D) Okay, I can’t even see where I am right now which is not – Ohh! Yes! Okay! (D) Th-That was very fast in the hole
(P) The bogie of a goblin (P) NO!!
(D) *snorts (D) oh, ultimate disrespect when that happens
(P) ohhh don’t do this to me (P) I swear in golf I’m amazing or terrible, there’s no in between. Yeah.
(D) There’s no ever in between is there? Okay. (P) We’ve got a bit of a red glow from this course under our chins though (D) It is, it’s very red on the faces, quite ominous, okay
(P) Mmhmm. (D) Okay, hole two, Phil first.
(P) It’s me! (P) SMIGGLE. Right. (P) Watch out Lads (P) Phil’s gonna get you ghost (D&P) *oh-ing at the same time* (D) OHH THAT WAS GOOD
(P) Oh oh oh! Through the crack! (D) OHMYGAWD (P) YESsSsSsS
(D) Okay (P) That was amazing (D) Phil, well done! (P) Thanks!
(D) That was quite impressive (D) Uhhhh I should have been paying more attention to what you did (D) WOA-WOAA-WOA-WOAA-OHOHOH
(P) OHOH (D) NOOOO!!
(P) Uh oh! (D) AUAUAGARHHRGHF
(P) Denied by the crack! (P) Alright, I’m going through here! (D) Okay yeah yeah, no, less less less less less.
(P) Noooo,no, that’s right (P) OHHH!!
(D) Aweee eager beaver (P) Eager?
(D) I’m gonna have to do this, BOOMBOOMBOOM (P) Lemme hear you say
(D) Lemme hear you say whale (P)*laugh* whale? (D) Okay, we’re in the float-y chair room (P) I love the float-y chair room
(D) Okay, it’s pretty scenic, ominous lighting flashes P: I mean if you’re having a drab dinner party, that’s the way to go- Floating Chairs. D: Hey guys you’re on the ceiling! D: Poltergeist activity. P: Oh, right on the rim. D: Oh my god! D: Pacific Rim. Ok. D: Oh! Oh my god. D: Another speed bogey from Dan. P: Imagine if you went to see pacific rim 2 and it was just this video. That would be a disappointment, wouldn’t it? D: Yes, Phil. D: Yes, it would. P: Jumbo Jaeger, he’s holding the chairs in the sky. D: You’re losing at the jumpscares and the score, just flagging that right now P: Oh you just wait Dan. D: Oh, yeah. P: You’re gonna be quaking, you’re gonna be hollering into the night. D: Right. D: Where the F, yeah if I got jumpscared D: by the lightning in a golf game. Phil’s weird. D: I see the hole there. P: I am a timid person. D: Ok D: Ooh. Ok. I can-I can do this in 2. P: I’m gonna ricochet off the barrel. D: There are puddles and buckets this is not being well maintained. P: Oh Oh P: No D: Hello, thank you for joining me. P: Mine’s got such a better glow than yours, have you got glow envy? D: No. I’m happy with my green one. thank you. P: Glenvy. It’s a bit yellow in my opinion.D: Oh D: Almost, did you see that? I’m on a golf roll today. D: Like the ball, rolling straight into the hole. P: Ughh D: Unlike Phil who has no idea what’s happening. here we go. P: shut your face. D: Toot! D: Par. P: Tink! D: Got the par… P: So did I! D:…went from bogey to par, Oh well done. P: Boastful Powell P: Right. D: I too am scared of brains on trolleys going round the room, sure, ok. D: Um, let’s see. There’s a big hole here. Phil looks like he’s preparing for a scare. P: I’m not. D:…I can see it in his eyes. P: I’m just relaxing D: Ok. Well, that was a very anti-climactic short trip over the hole. P: Where are we gonna go? D: I supposed to go second there P: I think I’m gonna go- D: good thing you weren’t pay attention. Go! P: I think I’m gonna go full wack. D: Go full wack, Oh P: Oh D: Alice in Wonderland. That actually worked out pretty well. I’m gonna go like this ooh, oh, oh Both : OH D: Oh, No What the fuck! P: This is like that place in Disney where they shrink you down it feels really weird. D: That place in Disney where they shrink you down? P: Yeah I can’t remember- D: Do you mean that attraction in Disney where everything is really big? P: Yeah, Or maybe it’s Universal Studios, Idk which one it is, anyway, it’s weird. D: I’m questioning your geometry quite a lot here. P: I’m just looking for the hole. D: Are you? P: Wait a- P: second. D: Ok. P: Wait, hold on to your socks. I know what i’m doing. D: Do you? Ok well go! D: Great turn Phil. P: That’s alright. D: They’ll write about that in the history books, next to this. Are you ready?BOOOOOM D: Boom Boom Boom, Let me hear you say Chair! Fuck! Ok. D:OK. P: Do you some people have a sexy thing where they want to be shrunk down and put into a giant human? in like a sexy way. D: Yeah microphilia. I’ve talked about this before… P: Very Unusual. D:..nothing new to Dan. P: But..it’s very strange. D: Wow you know, this is-this is a zero kink shaming zone. P: Do you think they like attack on titans for some other reason. D: Maybe- although none of them have genitals.. P: Yeah D:.. so that would be a very strange dynamic. P: I didn’t think I’d be talking about that in this video, but sure. D: Here we are. D: Oh! P: This-This is hard. D: Yes, Ok. I don’t actually know where the hole is. I’m just going there. P: I’m going-I’m going slow now. D: Wait, we gotta go fast. You ready for this? Boom Boom Boom. P: I’m gonna try after you. Hello there. Woop! You almost snookered me there, that would be very disrespectful. P: It’s like a maze this level. D: Ohhhh, yes. P: It’s like a haunted maze. D: Ok.I’m on 6th?! There’s no way we’re getting- D: Par. P: Uhh no. D: or bogey, or double bogey for this one. P: How’d you even get a par on this one? D: D’you feel like after these golf games-Are you FFFF FFF D: Bloody Hell P: *Screams* P: How? You’re?! D: Do you feel like- I’m just dead inside. D: *screams* D: GOD! *bangs the table* P: That scared me more than my jumpscare. How do you not jump? D: That hole ruined me. P: That was ridiculous. D: My hole is ruined. P: But fo-for real, how have you got nerves of steel. D: Umm.. I was just so emotionally distraught by my own golf flopping that there was nothing left. P: Ughh D: There were no normal emotions D: Right you go first this time. You were supposed to go first like 5 gos in a row. P: Fine. D: Head towards the fireplace that must be the goal. P: Its ano-Its another maze. P: D’you reckon anyone’s died in a maze? D: Yes. P: Because. D: Full stop. P: Like. D: Good conversation. P: I mean- D: Ahh a ramp! Yes! P: There must be a bit of randomness that means some people never get out of the maze. D: Well, I don’t think anyone makes mazes that are so big that- P: They do! D: Well yeah but- P: I went in one of those astronaut themes and it took me like 4 hours D: Well Ok if it’s like a billionaire with hedgemaze- P: Yeah D: ..and no one finds them, maybe but i think if was like come to a maze they’re not just gonna let a customer die- P: Probably- D:..in the middle of a giant astronaut P: The game crashed. Again, Of course the game crashed! D: Yeah, Like- ok… P: It is..It’s haunted. D:.. you don’t understand how bad this game is- P: UGH D:..it’s never not D: ok we tried to redo it and get the same scores- P: But we failed! D:..but we effed it up a bit. D: So I just have to toot once. D: Come on let’s do it. P: If Dan toots once then we’re even to last time P: There we go. D: The collision is on, DON’T TOUCH ME! P: Alright! D: Ok? P: I’m gonna go- D: What even is the hole in this one? P: I think it’s up this ramp. P: I’m gonna ramp it up the wall and then over the top- D: OOHH P:..and over the other side. D: OH! Is that like a rich Mahogany fireplace wall? D: That with which we’re just gonna have to like, skate ramp up right now P: It’s very much like The Sims having a burning fire under a wooden wall D: Under an entirley wooden structure P: It’s dangerous D: Yes P: Right D: It’s a dangerous game P: Are you ready to be fully jealous? D: Yes, hit me with your triangle skills, Phil P: Whoopa! D: H- P: Oh! Oh yeah *laughs* D: WHAT!? Are you kidding me P: That was so good! D: What did you just do with your tongue? P: I don’t know D: Never do that again P: That’s what I do when I’m fully excited D: FUCK! Oh my God, no D: Oh, this has gone downhill, guys. P: I’m just gonna scoop my ball into this hole D: Oh God this is the end P: Birdie. Caw Caw! D: I’m not in the mood P: Caw caw caw D: Such an annoying bird, I’m going to shoot it D: Right, okay D: JESUS P: Go D: Oh, man! This is disgusting P: Uh Oh, Philly’s back in town D: Absolutely horrific, okay. P: Next one D: *sighs* D: OH! P: The brain’s coming! D: It’s the brain trolley P: Look out D: You go first, you owe me like three going firsts now, I think P: I don’t know where to go, I’m just gonnaaa- D: Blind leap D&P: Blind leap D: Go, [P: Blind leap, blind leap] believe in the trolley P: NO! The trolley! D: Ohhhhhh P: Okay D: Phantom foot- D: Oh my God P: What? D: Someone is pushing the trolley around, Phil! There’s a ghost leaving footsteps and I totally missed whoops P: Who is it? D: Okay. It’s your mum P: It’s not my mum, it’s your mum’s… face D: That’s, you know, really rude to be honest P: That was terrible D: Ooooooh! Yep. Through the trolley, I should get like, a bonus P: Oh no! D: Oh noo P: What am I doing!? D: Phil’s missed it! P: Your mum P: Alright D: Okay P: This is like that thing in The Cube where you can’t go too far D: Why- P: Nothing is simple in The Cube, Daniel D: Everybody understands the british gameshow, The Cube, references P: Look, if you’re not from the UK you’re missing out on The Cube, I’ll tell you that much D: Are you? Are you really? P: Yep D: Okay, watch me do this, Phil D: DOOT! Ooooh Danny got a bogey. What about Phil? P: Wait! D: Actually Phil’s quite close. I was expecting Phil to be much worse P: Wait D: This is a lot less satisfying than I though it would be P: I’m cornering it, I’m cornering it D: Crap P: Wait P: Here we go, here we go D: If you don’t do it now then- Okay oooooooh AH HA! Even P: Yes! D: Okay, even Steven P: Wait, someone just knocked on the door D: No they didn’t P: They did, did you not hear it? D: No P: There’s someone at the door D: arE THERE!? P: Sshhbb P: I was gonna use that as my scare! D: Aw it was a bit obvious D: I wonder what Phil’s talking about, ‘someone at the door’ The japer became the japee P: Ohhh P: You’ve used all yours up now D: Two – Nill D: No, two P: Two? D: I’ve just done two P: Aw, he looks friendly D: Is it my turn to go first now? That’s not a good thing P: Yeah, it’s Casper the friendly ghost. D: Boom boom boom fuck and I’ve ended up further back than we started D: *claps* good golfing, Danny P: It’s Casper Lee after he dies P: Right. I’m going… this way P: Bop boh bop bop D: Did the ghost- P: It did something D: The ghost is corporeal [P: It’s got a magnetic field] and he will disrespect your golf balls P: He does not believe in golfing, he believes in haunting D: Okaaaaayy D: I think I could- oohh! You pushed me! Aw phil P; What!? D: Look, you just helped me P: I helped you so much! D: You- you just literally helped me so much P: Awwww P: I might as well just- D: *suprised and gleeful yell* P: *continues* -spoon-feed you this golf course like a spooky gelatine D: Yeah P: Sorry. I’m going this way D: Keep- keep talking P: Smack! Nope D: *stiffling a laugh* D: Spapnom P: Spapnom D: It sounds like you’re about to start doing man’s not hot Both: *laughs* P: Don’t get that in my head! D: Okay P: Ahhhh! D: This is beautiful. P: I’m gonna give birth D: Guys. I am having the best day ever right now P: I am actually giving birth D: what is happening with my hair in this hat? D: It’s like pinging in unnatural directions. D: That’s the horror version of One Direction. P: What? D: Unatural Direction. Is that a septic eye floating in the background? P: I feel like- D: -I’m spotting a pretty gnarly Bilabong logo there P: Do you think that’s a reference to JackSepticEye or- D: Probably. D:What,what game is Jacksepticeye not in?(P: Or is it just a coincidence?Yeah.) D:Alright, shit.This is crazy, this one.Go Phil, MAX!(P: BONK!)P:*laughs* I’ve just gone on to hole nine! D: You were literally just like ‘I’ve-I’ve got places to be.’P: Yeah,BYE.D: It’s time for hole nine. OK. P:Wha-D:What..the hell?P: Oh, I failed again.D:OK, umm. D: Wait, who-are you respecting taking it in turns – you trying to get over?(P: I’m-I’m not, you’re just trying to get over, let me join you on the other side.) D:No, loser!P:*sings ‘Hello’ by Adele* Hello from the other side!D: Right, now stop, and watch me do my go.(P:OK)P: I’m watching it.D: Hueyyyy! D:And then..OH(P:oh.)MY GOD!(P:That was quite-)D: Yes, go on Phil.(P:Supremely sexual.) P:Right,watch this, bam!Aw.(D:You-you’ve just made golf kinky in a bad-P:NO!D:STOp!Ok, one: you’re being weird and stop wasting your goes all willy nilly. You’re freaking out.2:(You’re supposed to be taking it in turns for the viewers.)P: Alright, go then. P:Right P: I’m going to get this back. D: Are you, Phil? P: Well, I’ve only got one go.D: You’ve got one more stroke left so -(P:*Laughs*)- GL P: If you were rooting for me, I don’t blame you for if you’re switching sides.(D:*giggles*)P: OK, here we go! Woop! D: His fair-weather golf supporter..And that is a big-(P:That’s a big whack.)-absolute floppy ding-dong P: WOW! D: Oh shit, Phil, look at those scores*sighs*. P: Don’t.. judge me, I’m having fun and that is all that matters. D: Right,so there is something weird happening down here so spoo- oh my god!P:Spooky scary skeletman, he’s sitting on the course.D: That was a lot bouncier than i thought it would be. P: Down the steps,OH.D: Through the banister-.(P: That was, what is even happening?)- physics is having a bad time right now .P: Don’t kick me out please.D: And there we go(P:Aww) D: Wait, now you wait. P: I’m like a dog. ‘Stay! Stay!’ D; Phil, Phil, no.

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